The Rest of My Day.....,

So, I wrote about my dilemma. Then after that, I needed to run some errands (you know diapers and a few other little things) So, I decided to brave going out with my kids. Now you might say, "Why BRAVE going out with your kids, you only have 2, and you should be use to it by now." Well, My children, as of late, have been HORRIBLE, screaming, yelling, kids, you know the ones when you hear them in the store you are glad aren't yours? Well, thats what mine have turned into. My oldest, LOVED going places, anywhere that wasn't home, he was EXTREMELY well-behaved. So, that spoiled me. Now, no matter how that day is going, if I leave the house, they start off good but half-way through the store, they start (like clock-work!). I don't even know anyone I can get to babysit so I can run the errands, and when Hubby gets home, I could but I like spending SOME time with him.So, we arrived at the first store, they start good, the start screaming for food (which they JUST ate before we left) So, I go home, without getting anything done.

I also watched the season finale of "Grey's Anatomy". I don't know where the writers are going with it but, I don't know if I like it.Then Gus Gus was "up my butt" the whole night, since weaning has taken place he has become an EXTREME mama's boy, which I do love but when I have a bad day like the one I was having, I feel overwhelmed with all the "hold me" , "I just want mama" attention and it also makes it hard for Hubby because Gus Gus becomes inconsolable by anyone but me. I try to remind myself that it's because Gus Gus thinks the world of me and loves me and just wants to be around me because of the lack of bonding the breastfeeding gives us. Then as I remind myself I feel really guilty for wanting him to "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE FOR A FEW MINUTES!" and as a result makes me feel even worse! But it's a daily battle, I am trying so hard to win. It just seems lately that I have been losing ABUNDANTLY.

Then yesterday evening, as I was cooking spaghetti, the boys were screaming, just loud, I was trying to do a cars for my Hubby, because he has been so great this last 2 weeks at all the "stuff" I have thrown at him and left him to do. He has been a GREAT sport about it, loving carring, supportive, understanding, and didn't make me feel like I was a horrible person (which I was by the way). Well, the card got messed up with all the noise and aggravation around me, I felt bed enough already and when my nice gesture got ruined (I gave it to him and he LOVED it anyway) My morale hit rock bottom.So, by the time he actually made it home I was crying and the kids were screaming and I was trying NOT to burn dinner! He walks through the door with, a LAPTOP!!! He wanted to surprise me since my camcorder didn't work out. All I could do was cry MORE (I know not the best reaction). But, he is pretty confident in the quality of the one he got, he just said we have 30 days to try it and if it doesn't work out, we can return it. I wasn't going to tell ANYONE about it (cause the way my luck has been going lately) I figured I would have to return it. Hopefully, I won't though :)

So, I have a WONDERFUL husband, CHALLENGING children, and all in all a GREAT family :).